The Fourth Fear Reflex

The Fourth Fear Reflex


Not a baby deer.

It’s the fourth fear reflex.

Fight, flight, freeze are the more popular adjectives to describe the reaction and action sequence of offensive and defensive strategy in response to fear.

But what about fawn?

This one is the most servile, it’s stealth and often goes completely unnoticed because it’s seen as being ‘nice’.

But really?

The dictionary lists ‘fawn’ as a ‘display of exaggerated flattery or affection typically in order to gain favour’.

And, ‘kowtow to, bow and scrape before, sweet talk, suck up to, sycophantic’.

The vulgar slang? – To ‘kiss someone’s arse’.


Who hasn’t been guilty of that though?

It’s often the pomp and ceremony we put on to fluff feather and smoke-blow those we seek to be close to; to connect, belong.

Like our lives depended on it.

Because we don’t feel close, connected and belonged.

But that’s exactly it! Our physical lives don’t depend on it. And it’s futile parlay for psychological stake-holding and survival.

We fawn because we feel separate from someone, rejected in some way.

And just like all separation and rejection stories we reason (wrongly) that the rejection and separation is life-threatening.

Fear is triggered and the survival strategy of ‘fawn’ is employed, a mortgaged character and attitude of the ego personality to close The Gap (of rejection and separation).

But just like all mortgages there’s a price to pay.

In ‘fawn’ you give your power away, disempowered.

You become someone you’re not, masked up and sucked dry of vital life force while the object of your affections is falsely inflated.

I see fawning a lot, particularly in the spiritual and corporate communities and in the dynamics between an empath and a narcissist.

It’s a popular play in (and reason for) the power-loss epidemic.

If you want to restore the power and peace to your nervous system you’ve gotta become aware of your fourth fear reflex, ‘fawn’.

Just think.

All the energy and power you give away blowing smoke up someone else’s arse you can re-direct for your own lift-off.

Michelle x

I acknowledge my teachers, it is because they have had the courage to journey that I am empowered – fruit of their gifts and abilities – to journey too.

Many of these gifts and abilities are initiated and embodied at a great cost, I acknowledge and appreciate this.

But no cost is greater than the soul unexpressed, disempowered.

And no reward greater than the soul expressed, empowered.

Thank you.


To learn more and to connect with me in Consultation go to

Michelle Olak is the Creator of ‘Becoming The Witness – 52 Lessons To Self’. This teaching is a philosophy for the soul, a proprietary program delivered two ways; One on One Skype Coaching or Weekend Workshop. Core to this philosophy and teaching is the wisdom of ‘reality is your reactions’ and ‘peace is disrupted and restored in the nervous system’.